This Week's Obsession

Pancake Mountain

Last night I was struck with the urge to rent innocuously amusing fare from my local videostore, which also happens to be the most badass videostore ever. Like Cinefile, but edgier (if not as completely well stocked). As you know, I have a big hard-on for the Netflix, so my jaunts to the videostore are few and far between. I'm thinking that's all gonna change, though. My eyes were wide with wonderment at all the crazy cool offerings spread around the store. That's something you miss while perusing for titles on the computer. The little icon images of the dvd covers are no match for the real, tactile items themselves. As a matter of fact, I ended up renting a title Netflix doesn't even carry. Whowouldathunkthat? Tis true. Of course, I immediately emailed them letting them know they're losing major cool points for not carrying it.

Don't let the fact that it's a kids show (made in DC, no less) throw you off. It's more like a very, very, very fucked up kids show. They describe themselves as Sesame Street meets Pee Wee's Playhouse. I would say it's more like a G-rated Crank Yankers mixed with hot indie bands like Arcade Fire, Fiery Furnaces, Bright Eyes, etc. singing about odd things like houses for mouses and blue cakes.

My New BFF

There's this person in my life I don't think I've mentioned yet. Her name is Charlemagne. I visit with her everyday, so I'm actually a little surprised I haven't said anything about her. She's really uptight, maybe that's why. Is that wrong of me to say? Well, she's kind of a bitch, too. I mean, it seems likes she's picking a fight with me every other day. It's a love/hate relationship, really. I hate her and I'm pretty sure she hates me, but I love it when she's happy and, um, she loves it when she's happy, too.

I'm more or less introducing her today because I think we may FINALLY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD have come to a truce about another important man in my life. You know who that man is, don't you? I know. I know he's all wrong for me, so please let's not get into that. For those reading this who I don't speak to regularly, let me introduce him properly: his name is Mr. Alcohol. What? You know him, too? He's the best, right? I mean, until like 2 am when he coaxes you into running down the block in your underwear while booty-texting all 5 of your last boyfriends and taking camera pics of your boobs smashed against the door of Taco Bell.

But back to the truce. For years, we battled about Mr. Alcohol. No matter how I presented him (say wine, beer, fruity martini, etc.) she just did not like him. She would put up with him for maybe an hour and then you could just feel her start to simmer, then seethe, then get all pissed off telling me to dump his ass like cheap Boons. Even if he was a Bombay & tonic! The nerve! She didn't care what sort of company was around either, she would blatantly blurt out how she felt. Uncomfortable to say the least. Sometimes I just couldn't handle her and would head home, saving myself the torture.

However, this has all recently changed.

You won't believe what has made us the best of friends. After all these years, ends up Charlemagne loves the Champagne! She is all down with it. I don't know if I can explain to you how life-changing this is. And not just champagne, any sort of bubbly- prosecco, cava, moscato, sekt... God, I can almost see all the boobie photos now.

I Got Style

So overly concerned that I just purchased ELEMENTS OF STYLE on my lunch break. I am inappropriately excited about my new reading material.

I Do My Lovin' At Home

Not sure if you've heard or paid attention to all of the hubbub (is that a grandmotherly term? I don't know why I'm overly concerned with my word choices today) surrounding the release of Steven Soderbergh's new movie BUBBLE. Essentially, he's simultaneously releasing it in the theaters, on dvd, and on on-demand cable/satellite. The movie people are bickering back and forth about the move. Of course, the National Association of Theater Owners is really upset. M. Night Shallashallaman (ok, not his real name because he has the most impossible name in the world to remember, you know who I'm talking about) has even spoken up about it, ranting that movies are art and the movie going experience is sacred.

As we all know, I am a lover of movies. I like to watch them and undress them and fondle them and obsess about them. But, I have something to admit. I have seen one, possibly two movies in the theater in the past 6 months. And I'll tell you why I don't go to the theater anymore. It's a two-folder. Ready for this? Let me break it down:

1) The movies suck ass.

It's just a sad, bad, valueless, stupid, dim slate of films the studios throw at us. Drivel straight up. Of course a very small few somehow manage to shine through each year. But not enough to make me revalue the movie going experience. It's always just enough that can be easily managed on my Netflix queue. Now, if one, two (god forbid!) three movies a month were coming out that demanded my attention, then my immediate gratification impulses would start to get the better of me. The rush of movies would be much too titillating and would probably prompt me to get over my number two reason for avoiding the cinemas:

2) I hate my fellow theatergoers.

Now, I have had a few enjoyable theater experiences in my day, but those have become less a standard and more of an exception. I am right there with Shallamallaboogiebutt- the movie going experience is sacred. So sacred that it can not be shared with humanity. I get INCENSED when I have to look around some dork's noggin or listen to insipid chatting or hear cell phones or any of the things that others do who, as plain as day, DO NOT particularly care what's on the screen. It's just mindless entertainment to them.

Of course, needless to say, they're usually right.

Favorite New Quote

"Cellphones are the new cigarettes."
-Manohla Dargis

Trust Me On This One

I haven't updated in a while, have I? I always get confused with that word. Is it a while or awhile? The more I look at the word, the more bizarre it appears. While. That's a funny word. Seriously, I don't know what I've been up to. Well, I can tell you what I did the last couple of nights, because they were only a night and two ago. My memory's not THAT bad. But, don't ask me what I ate. Because that I surely don't know. Last night I played poker and I don't think I have to tell you that I WON IT ALL AGAIN. No, no I don't. The night before that I got to do some birthday celebrating with my interrasting friend. Was that a lame pun? Don't answer that. I love meeting the friends of friends. This group was all so nice and civilized and fun to chat up. I got to learn about the new Land Rover, which just mesmerizes me. Amazing these newfangled cars, truly amazing. The car can raise itself 4 inches and even lower itself 4 inches. THAT'S GENIUS. I'm not going to go into why because that may diminish it a bit. Nonetheless, it is AWESOME. You can get into more parking garages! Drive under more bridges! In theory, of course. I know there aren't many bridges that are just 4 inches too small. But...but...IT'S GENIUS.

I can tell you're not convinced. Well, I can't help you.

I Finally Got Some New Years Photos Developed

He's owning that hat, no doubt:


The hostess with her man:

I Fear the Election of Alito Will Be A Very Bad Thing

I just sent a letter to my senators. Of course, I live in Massachusetts and my senators are Kerry and Kennedy, so they are firmly on my side. They even voted against Judge Roberts, who doesn't scare me as much as Alito. If you want to know how your senators voted on Roberts, you can check their votes here. If you're also moved to speak out against Alito's election, this site is pretty useful and gives you some great facts about his record.

Babes!

Darts!

One of these things is not like the others,

One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Big Wheels Keep On Turning

Alabama's State Flag


You know one state I never, ever hear about? Alabama. What the hell is going on with that state? Either something very innocuous or something very, very wrong. That's my summation. I really should have my own news show with insightful bits of information like this.

For instance, today's headline would read:

COUNTRY HAS NOT HEARD FROM ALABAMA IN AT LEAST 3 YEARS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT STATE? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?
(Or are they just boring?)

Topics to be analyzed at today's roundtable will be:

Alabama Shooters- really alcohol or just sweet syrup?
Alabama Flag- is Alabama obsessed with Family Feud?
Sweet Home Alabama- is it? really?

OCD Action

DO SOMETHING

I'm one of those people that never read the articles regarding Iraq. I just skim the headlines and my blood starts to boil and I avoid further agitation by not reading on. The reason being, mainly I feel helpless. Ever since Bush was solidly re-elected into office, I've realized my views are emphatically not shared by most of my fellow countrymen. A very, very dispiriting, depressing realization. So I focus on the things that fill my soul, namely art, friends, good movies, creativity. But, the latest headline just screams at me and riles the indignation I've been sheltering from the mean, mean world:

UP TO 130 KILLED IN IRAQ

That's just too much. That's unacceptable. And still I don't know what to do. I suppose volunteering with some politically charged organizations is a better act towards righting the wrongs than not doing anything at all.

Of course, it must be.

You ever have one of those days where your heart is up in your throat and beating really rapidly and there's nothing you can do about it

except run around like an excited bunny?

It's too much to handle, really.

Work With Me, Brain, Work With Me

I'm going to tell you about my life. I'm going to tell you about my life in excruciating minutiae. Last night, I immediately retired to my abode to sip hot tea and eternally read New Media In Art...Oh my god, I'm already bored with this. Maybe I should talk to more people or expand my social circle so I would have more things to say, or better, gossip about. I have no gossip, no antics to relay. I read last night, people! Woohooo! Well, I also fretted a bit. About my lack of motivation, even with all of my Structure. But, I've stumbled upon a new technique, which interestingly was first introduced to me in my Body Sculpting Workbook. Since I'm not actually doing the things I should be doing, and what's even worse than that, I KNOW what I should be doing and I'm STILL not doing it, I decided there's something wrong with me. Really just fundamentally wrong with me. Like maybe I'm a little retarded or something. But, that knowledge wasn't helping me. So, I tabled that and decided I needed to infuse my process with something new and fresh, this being the new year after all. Here's what I finally decided on: Are you ready for this? No, I don't think you are. Are you sitting down? Yes, you should sit down. Listen to me when I tell you this. Sit. Down. Ok, now you're ready. Here's what I've added to my process:

V
I
S
U
A
L
I
Z
A
T
I
O
N

That spells Visualization. Now, I will Visualize what I should be doing. And this, of course, will make me do it. Admittedly, there was a bit of a misstep with this new process last night when I started visualizing while lying in bed. I fell asleep. So, that's not good. But, this should not be looked upon as a negative against Visualization! No, no! I should have known better than to (attempt anything, really) Visualize while lying in bed with my eyes closed. This more than likely has to do with my mild retardedness, but that's neither here nor there.

Purity Of Essence

I finally reached Dr. Strangelove on my Kubrick retrospective. Peter Sellers is an acting GENIUS!!!!! AAAAH! I LOVE HIM. God, he's funny. I was reading some trivia on the movie and evidently he played his President character originally as having a bad cold, which was killing all of the other actors, who couldn't keep a straight face. But, then Kubrick decided to have the President be the straight man to everyone else's antics, so we don't get to witness this further evidence of his comic genius. Dr. Strangelove is by far my favorite character. The way he smiles and his eyes twinkle behind his glasses. For all of the wrong reasons, you can tell. And that war room is a cinematic work of art. I tell you all of these things because I have nothing else to tell you. These are the things that occupy my thoughts and my time.

Here We Go Again

God, there was much fun on all of my lazy days off. Some days, I was showered and dressed by 9 am. Others, my stinky breath was my only motivator to do some self-cleansing. And now: MONOTONY. Sigh. Double sigh. Triple sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

(Sigh.)