I Do My Lovin' At Home
Not sure if you've heard or paid attention to all of the hubbub (is that a grandmotherly term? I don't know why I'm overly concerned with my word choices today) surrounding the release of Steven Soderbergh's new movie BUBBLE. Essentially, he's simultaneously releasing it in the theaters, on dvd, and on on-demand cable/satellite. The movie people are bickering back and forth about the move. Of course, the National Association of Theater Owners is really upset. M. Night Shallashallaman (ok, not his real name because he has the most impossible name in the world to remember, you know who I'm talking about) has even spoken up about it, ranting that movies are art and the movie going experience is sacred.
As we all know, I am a lover of movies. I like to watch them and undress them and fondle them and obsess about them. But, I have something to admit. I have seen one, possibly two movies in the theater in the past 6 months. And I'll tell you why I don't go to the theater anymore. It's a two-folder. Ready for this? Let me break it down:
1) The movies suck ass.
It's just a sad, bad, valueless, stupid, dim slate of films the studios throw at us. Drivel straight up. Of course a very small few somehow manage to shine through each year. But not enough to make me revalue the movie going experience. It's always just enough that can be easily managed on my Netflix queue. Now, if one, two (god forbid!) three movies a month were coming out that demanded my attention, then my immediate gratification impulses would start to get the better of me. The rush of movies would be much too titillating and would probably prompt me to get over my number two reason for avoiding the cinemas:
2) I hate my fellow theatergoers.
Now, I have had a few enjoyable theater experiences in my day, but those have become less a standard and more of an exception. I am right there with Shallamallaboogiebutt- the movie going experience is sacred. So sacred that it can not be shared with humanity. I get INCENSED when I have to look around some dork's noggin or listen to insipid chatting or hear cell phones or any of the things that others do who, as plain as day, DO NOT particularly care what's on the screen. It's just mindless entertainment to them.
Of course, needless to say, they're usually right.
As we all know, I am a lover of movies. I like to watch them and undress them and fondle them and obsess about them. But, I have something to admit. I have seen one, possibly two movies in the theater in the past 6 months. And I'll tell you why I don't go to the theater anymore. It's a two-folder. Ready for this? Let me break it down:
1) The movies suck ass.
It's just a sad, bad, valueless, stupid, dim slate of films the studios throw at us. Drivel straight up. Of course a very small few somehow manage to shine through each year. But not enough to make me revalue the movie going experience. It's always just enough that can be easily managed on my Netflix queue. Now, if one, two (god forbid!) three movies a month were coming out that demanded my attention, then my immediate gratification impulses would start to get the better of me. The rush of movies would be much too titillating and would probably prompt me to get over my number two reason for avoiding the cinemas:
2) I hate my fellow theatergoers.
Now, I have had a few enjoyable theater experiences in my day, but those have become less a standard and more of an exception. I am right there with Shallamallaboogiebutt- the movie going experience is sacred. So sacred that it can not be shared with humanity. I get INCENSED when I have to look around some dork's noggin or listen to insipid chatting or hear cell phones or any of the things that others do who, as plain as day, DO NOT particularly care what's on the screen. It's just mindless entertainment to them.
Of course, needless to say, they're usually right.
posted by Notyomomma
2 Word Ups
2 Comments:
Okay, but M. Night Shamalamadingdong really isn't one to talk, as his contributions to the oeuvre have been getting steadily crappier with each new effort. Totally deserving of being watched while doing your toenails. I never even *saw* The Village, and I knew exactly how the plot was going to turn out as soon as I heard who was directing.
M. Night Shamburgerhelper should just keep his trap shut, because The Village sucked ass.
And I am so WITH YOU on #2. THAT'S the main reason I hate going to movies. The other day I went to see Capote and someone brought an infant. AN INFANT. I understand people need to get out of the house and all when you are a new parent, but to CAPOTE??
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