Postmodern Relationships

Today our lives are different from our parents. They tended to get married in their 20s. We tend to in our 30s. Why did this shift occur? Is it all relatable to the social revolution of the 60s and our consequent egocentric preoccupation with discovering ourselves, before we allow others into our lives? Or perhaps marriage is an antiquated notion that is more of a limiting social construct for the young and unnecessary in our self-sufficient lives. Not to mention, we're able to look younger and feel younger with the non-stop innovations and revelations about diet and medicine. We can put off marriage much longer because we still look good enough to catch a mate well into our 30s and the advances in medicine make us feel secure about putting off the baby-making until the very last minute. I'm 32 and I don't think I'll really start worrying about the marriage/baby business until I'm 37 (nice random number, no? I figure that will just give me enough time to find a mate, get married and have a baby before I'm 40), so that's a good 5 more years of self-discovery with minimal impediments (or responsibilities as my mother would call them). And honestly, if I could, I'd put it off for another decade altogether. I actually have a couple of friends who don't want a baby at all and another who doesn't even have the desire to get married, which is more and more acceptable these days. I wonder, as our society progresses, if these tendencies will even become mainstream? Wouldn't it be awesome if, when we die, we get to go to some comfy lounge with unlimited pizza and brownies and a ginormous movie screen and chill out and watch what our society is up to after we're gone, maybe while playing some scrabble and connect 4?

The reason I bring all of this modern relationship stuff up is due to a movie I saw recently at Kendall: 2 Days In Paris, written, directed, edited, produced, composed, poster-designed, etc. by Julie Delpy. I enjoyed it because it dissects the kind of relationships us self-aware 30 years olds are having today. From the point of view of this movie, we revel in our own idiosyncrasies and struggle to adapt to those of our partners'. We end up like independent orbs that briefly collide for an interval, then inevitably end up feeling stifled and move on. Each relationship is more a diversion or a learning experience, than something that becomes a part of us. Which, actually when I think about it, is maybe a regression into our animalistic tendencies. We all have very reactionary, hedonistic, selfish desires, but we usually use our noggins to rationalize a more appropriate response that contributes to the greater good. Maybe being committed to another person is a way to step out of yourself and recognize your part in the community.

Though, our society does play to the glory of the individual, so perhaps we're only working within the system after all and struggling to be what society trumpets.