The Moral Is: Don't Ever Have An Orgy Without Including The Head

Mmmmm. Dramatic clouds are greeting me out of my 17th floor window. They make everything feel so much more momentous. I took the day off yesterday, so I'm really relaxed and feel like I have all of the time on the world. Know what I did this morning? I went to the gym! Aaaaaaah! I'm totally serious. My booty woke up at 5 am. The plan was to get up at 4 am, but I have this affliction wherein no matter what time I set my alarm, I will invariably snooze for exactly one hour. Not 45 minutes. Not one hour and 20 minutes. One hour. Weird, huh? Or, rather, pretty lazy, huh?

Sometimes I like to think of my life as a fable or, better yet, a great Grecian myth. Something like one of the gods wanted to have sex with me, but I refused- or no!- I was in an orgy with like 5 other well endowed gods and busty females and the head god got jealous, so I have been banished into this cube to live out the remainder of my days. Forced to amuse myself within these windowed walls, with nothing but the internet to entertain and educate me.