My Immune System Can No Longer Fight Off the Adult Disease - Be Forewarned- It Can Happen To You

Well, I appear to be the last sober person residing in Boston. Even my boyfriend is in on the action. This is a man who is about to begin treating sick people next week- their lives will be in his hands- and HE came home drunk last night. I was awoken at midnight by a pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-you get the picture on my head. When I opened my eyes, there he was, his face about 2 inches from mine, just blankly blinking and patting my noggin. I could tell he had partaken of the drink from only 2 seconds of conversation. Mainly because he said things like, "That was a lot of wine!" and "You would've really had a good time." "Because of the wine!" As for myself, I had gone to bed at, oh, 10 pm. What is my freaking problem? Why am I drinking milk and baking cookies and reading a lot and actually cleaning the freaking house? I must be coming down with something. I pray to god it's not that 'responsible adult' disease.