Conflicted with Reality

Víctima del plasma., originally uploaded by ZEЯO.

It's been awhile since I've watched any reality tv. Usually, I'm excellent at avoiding them. I'm more of a guide surfer than a channel flipper anyway so I hardly ever just run across them and get sucked in. Last night though was a different story. It started off innocently enough with me watching one of my dvr'd Kathy Griffin: D-List episodes, which was hilarious, of course. However once it ended, the tv automatically brought me back to live tv and THAT IS WHEN THE SUCKING BEGAN. I was sucked in, the show sucked, the people on the show sucked, the food on the show sucked, you get the idea. Has anyone ever found themselves watching Kitchen Nightmares with the questionable Gordon Ramsay? I'm new to the Gordon Ramsay universe but I understand he's become quite popular as some sort of perfectionist, evil chef. Evidently, he's supposed to be one of the top chefs in the world with all of his Michelin stars and Order of the British Empire and such. Of course, I don't know why he feels the need to yell at people on tv. Perhaps someone has gotten a little too big for his britches?

The general premise is they pick a failing restaurant and Gordon swoops in and yells at people telling them how bad they are, changes everything and saves the day. Brilliant. This restaurant they picked, Sebastian's (somewhere in LA, I think), was god awful bad. It truly made me reevaluate my past, present and future choices in restaurants. Yes, THAT BAD. They didn't make anything in-house. 95% of what they served was delivered FROZEN to them and they essentially heated it up. Now, I'm no restaurateur, but is that legal? I mean, really? That seems to go against the very idea of a restaurant. Are they allowed to just buy out Costco and serve it to you?

Of course, Gordon was appalled and the head chef was such a major tool. He was somehow proud of his frozen restaurant, even though they hardly had any customers. He didn't get the whole chefs should actually do some cooking concept, even when Gordon would considerately scream it in his face. It really was quite painful and shocking and like watching a train wreck and all of those other schadenfreude qualities of our generation's gift to the television arts. But, I have to admit, it also made me quite indignant (how dare a restaurant serve frozen food! how many restaurants have I actually been to like this?!) and supportive of Gordon, too. Like he was fighting the good fight to make all restaurants honest and fresh and respectable.

So now I'm all conflicted about it. On the one hand I feel dirty for spending an hour watching the flagrant manipulation of people and events. On the other hand, it really did open my eyes and, dare I say, I actually learned something.

Damn you, reality tv.

Slushee Day

Slurpee Goodness, originally uploaded by KillTaupe.

I had a lot of plans but they didn't happen.

And now I'm off to a beer garden.

B I E R G A R T E N

Ever since that fateful day in NYC last month when my friends nonchalantly decided we should grab a beer at Loreley, I have become OBSESSED with biergartens. Yes, it is true. So, imagine my horror when I did a search for the closest one near me upon my immediate return and came up with naught. Yes, NAUGHT! It was as if my tender little hopes and sweet little dreams had been pummeled by...THE WORLD itself.

There was almost no reason to go on and I passed the ensuing days a shell of my former self.

Yet somehow through the fog of my existence, one day while traveling through Harvard Square, I came across an apparition that made me pinch myself in disbelief. The holiest of holy sights: A FUCKING BIERGARTEN! Evidently, the owners of Charlie's Kitchen possess some of the finest minds in the country. And they have not let them go to waste.

GRE Progress

I'm quite delighted by my math progress. I can even bust out some correct answers after 2 glasses of wine and 5 hours of sleep. Ok yes, the math is not cal or even pre-cal, but more of the 'business math' persuasion, but I have to do it all without a calculator, which is - honestly - not very business world accurate. Really now, who in this day and age does any math in their head on a regular basis? There are calculators EVERYWHERE. I've got 2 within hands reach at this very moment. Our phones even figure out our tips for us. Because 20% is JUST TOO HARD. We've made it so we never have to trouble our heads with trivial math tomfoolery again. And THIS IS WHY I had to buy a remedial book on remedial math. I lost pretty much all basic skills and realized the whole 8 multiplication series had been completely wiped from my brain. Seriously, when I first started, I forgot the product of 8 times 7. Embarrasing yes. But isn't society partly to blame?

Guilty Pleasures

I've gotten my boyfriend hooked on Californication now. He agrees it's quite the guilty pleasure. There's just something about Duchovny's great sarcastic delivery and all of the boobies and the fuck off attitude that makes the enjoyment of it feel sooo naughty and soooooooo good. I even joined the Facebook group because I am cheez, but also because I want to just sit around and quote the fantastic one liners all day, of which the group provides an endless supply.

"I love women. I have all their albums."

I'm Going!!!!

Californication

This series has enchanted me like only a sarcastic, fuck the world, part-time sober, decently attractive man can. It had me when Hank puked all over his ex-wife's fiancé's bad art while fucking a scientologist after getting high. Who writes scenes like that?! Genius. The whole premise is Hank has reached bottom (his girlfriend left him, his acclaimed novel was turned into a cheez romantic comedy, yada yada), so he's so down and out, he could care less what comes out of his mouth and says precisely the things you dream of saying if you didn't have to always play nice. The downside is the acting (it's mostly just fair), but Duchovny is pretty perfect in the role. You also get to see a lot of naked women, since he's also literally decided to fuck the world. The downside to the series is Kapinos can't write a decent woman to save his life. They're either idiots or manipulative. The ol' virgin/whore complex. But I forgive him because of the refreshing fuck-off attitude and the witty writing.

"I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister."

Love the song, love the hair, love the clothes, love the style.

This Artist took kids drawings and transformed them into high concept art.

Love it.

We can't bury Shelly. She's our friend!

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