Who's into the World Cup?

I'm caught under its spell, but I still can't find it within me to sit down and watch a full game. After about 10 minutes, I get really bored. Maybe I should drink more. Yeah, I'm definitely not drinking enough. And I think watching with other people is probably a lot more fun. It's just the players run monotonously around and around and up and down the field. The cameras should really get up a lot closer to the players. I mean, usually they're just little running blobs on that big expanse of green. Or they should make them wear camera helmets...or feather boas...or make them have to jump through burning hoops.

Um, these ideas aren't sacrilegious, are they?