"Hey, we are not all the Nokia-wielding people the government would like you to think we are."

I have learned some interesting things about the Finns from the New York Yimes' article Finland Squirms as Its Latest Export Steps Into Spotlight.

First off, Finland is all in a tizzie those ugly creatures above (known as the band Lordi) will be representing them at Eurovision. From what I can gleam, Eurovision appears to be American Idol, except on massive quantities of steroids and involving several countries in Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. Not to mention, it was the springboard for Celine Dion unto the world!

And I thought Americans were tacky.

But, I do not write this post to compare world tackiness! No! That would take much, much too long. No, what I found fascinating about the article was the revelation that the Finns are apparently suffering from low self-esteem. The poor lads, it seems they have come in dead last at Eurovision eight times. The horror! I'm surprised the country hasn't full on revolted and changed it's name to Spainnland or Swedennland or something. AND not only are they being constantly humiliated by the flashy and flamboyant artistes at Eurovision, per the article, Sweden also regularly kicks their ass in hockey! Say it isn't so! My heart bleeds for Finland, particularly when I read quotes like this, (from the lead singer of Lordi) "In Finland, we have no Eiffel Tower, few real famous artists, it is freezing cold and we suffer from low self-esteem."

Sad, so sad. I cry in my soup for you Finland!

Oh! I forgot to mention the most excellent description of the band from the article:

Kita, an alien-man-beast predator who plays flame-spitting drums inside a cage; Awa, a blood-splattered ghost who howls backup vocals; Ox, a zombie bull who plays bass; and Amen, a mummy in a rubber loincloth who plays guitar.

A rubber loincloth??

Now, that's a little fabulous, I have to say. Perk up, Finns, you're heading in the right direction.

I leave you with this last quote by Alexander Stubb, a Finnish member of the European Parliament:

Finns are so uncomfortable with themselves, that when they meet someone for the first time, they stare at their own feet. Then, after 10 years of friendship, they stare at the other person's feet.

Oh, you Finns.