Biopsy Tale
The nurse asked me, “Have you ever had a blistering sunburn?”
“If I have, it hasn’t been since I was a kid.”
“(Sigh.) Have. You. Ever. Had. A. Blistering. Sunburn.”
“I guess not.”
“Do you normally use novocaine for dental work?”
“I haven’t been to the dentist (extended self-aware pause) in a number of years.”
“(Sigh.)”
“Rosacea, eczema, rashes, ringworm, psoriasis?”
“No, thank you.” Or, the response I wish I’d said. I can’t blame the nurse for not liking me, though. I actually called in my visit to the dermatologist today as a last ditch effort to avoid work. Who can blame her for hating her job, too?
Ok, I admit, I actually kinda had a bonafide reason to be there. See, one of my moles was growing a tail. I don’t know if it decided it was disobeying the laws of gravity for too long or it thought it would be neat to meander down my arm or it’s punishing me for all those sessions in the evil manmade uv ray machine. I won’t know for a week, actually, if my body is angry with me or just being decorative.
Everything happened so fast. One moment, my dermatologist is telling me about her dad living on a sailboat in Tahiti and the next thing I know, she’s scooping a 4mm pit out of my arm. Voila! I am now the bearer of two mean looking stitches. If my sleep deprived boyfriend wasn’t using my phone as an alarm (I think he’s up to 4 alarms now- note to world: being a doctor sucks), I would take a pic.
“If I have, it hasn’t been since I was a kid.”
“(Sigh.) Have. You. Ever. Had. A. Blistering. Sunburn.”
“I guess not.”
“Do you normally use novocaine for dental work?”
“I haven’t been to the dentist (extended self-aware pause) in a number of years.”
“(Sigh.)”
“Rosacea, eczema, rashes, ringworm, psoriasis?”
“No, thank you.” Or, the response I wish I’d said. I can’t blame the nurse for not liking me, though. I actually called in my visit to the dermatologist today as a last ditch effort to avoid work. Who can blame her for hating her job, too?
Ok, I admit, I actually kinda had a bonafide reason to be there. See, one of my moles was growing a tail. I don’t know if it decided it was disobeying the laws of gravity for too long or it thought it would be neat to meander down my arm or it’s punishing me for all those sessions in the evil manmade uv ray machine. I won’t know for a week, actually, if my body is angry with me or just being decorative.
Everything happened so fast. One moment, my dermatologist is telling me about her dad living on a sailboat in Tahiti and the next thing I know, she’s scooping a 4mm pit out of my arm. Voila! I am now the bearer of two mean looking stitches. If my sleep deprived boyfriend wasn’t using my phone as an alarm (I think he’s up to 4 alarms now- note to world: being a doctor sucks), I would take a pic.
posted by Notyomomma
3 Word Ups
3 Comments:
Boyfriend?
Now I am REALLY confused.
Yeah, me too. Two weeks ago you told us about your fizzled-out breakup? Is this a new guy or was there a fizzy reconciliation?
So am I. So am I.
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