You will never BELIEVE what greeted me at my house yesterday
Nope, you won't. Never ever. I'll give you some hints:
-it's silver
-it has a subwoofer
-it requires a cover
-it requires steps to enter
-a man named Anthony will be coming by today to install the necessary plumbing
-some people hang out in them naked
Give up? It's a freaking hot tub. I don't know- to answer all questions. No, I haven't seen one since the 80s either. I don't know why or for what reason or in what capacity it was decided we need one of these things to be a part of our living quarters. I'll, of course, take a pic when I get home to display the bizarre Boogie Nights prop 3 steps from our living room. I thought the neighbors were giving me funny looks when I came home yesterday. Who wouldn't? Even my dad has gotten rid of his. No one owns these things anymore. I mean, we're not in physical therapy and we don't have quintuplets as girlfriends. Therefore, there is absolutely no reason we should have this thing.
The silver behemoth has brought all sorts of visitors upon us, too. Besides Anthony above, the OWNER of the hot tub store stopped by on his way home. Of course, I'm the only person home during these visits (and was unfortunately a little off and tipsy, see below). I feel he was quite a bit suspect when he arrived. We still have our blue 'party lightbulb' as our patio light. Making our house look more like a possible prostitute/crack den than, oh say, just another normal house with a hot tub. I'm sad to admit, I actually was in my robe when he stopped by, which really doesn't help matters. It was late, people! The hot tub store owner skeeved me out a bit, too, though. I felt like he was checking me out, imagining all of the wild antics me and my quintuplet friends would be up to once we got the tub working. Which is so far from any truth. Honestly, I'm going to have to be dragged in. I don't find sitting around, staring at a fence, and getting wrinkly any fun whatsoever. There's nothing to do in there really. Have relaxing conversations with my boyfriend? But I can do that without getting my hair chlorinated. Foreplay? The hot tub is actually pretty visible from the second story of every single house surrounding us. So, it's sexiness factor is not so much. If you knew our neighborhood, you would know why. There are dudes that sit out on their porches all day even when there aren't half naked people frolicking in frothing water. These days, they only say 'Hi' to me as I walk by. I shiver to think of the other greetings they might start throwing my way. However, if anyone else finds having stringy hair, raisin skin, and nothing left in your friends' imaginations, by all means, come on by.
-it's silver
-it has a subwoofer
-it requires a cover
-it requires steps to enter
-a man named Anthony will be coming by today to install the necessary plumbing
-some people hang out in them naked
Give up? It's a freaking hot tub. I don't know- to answer all questions. No, I haven't seen one since the 80s either. I don't know why or for what reason or in what capacity it was decided we need one of these things to be a part of our living quarters. I'll, of course, take a pic when I get home to display the bizarre Boogie Nights prop 3 steps from our living room. I thought the neighbors were giving me funny looks when I came home yesterday. Who wouldn't? Even my dad has gotten rid of his. No one owns these things anymore. I mean, we're not in physical therapy and we don't have quintuplets as girlfriends. Therefore, there is absolutely no reason we should have this thing.
The silver behemoth has brought all sorts of visitors upon us, too. Besides Anthony above, the OWNER of the hot tub store stopped by on his way home. Of course, I'm the only person home during these visits (and was unfortunately a little off and tipsy, see below). I feel he was quite a bit suspect when he arrived. We still have our blue 'party lightbulb' as our patio light. Making our house look more like a possible prostitute/crack den than, oh say, just another normal house with a hot tub. I'm sad to admit, I actually was in my robe when he stopped by, which really doesn't help matters. It was late, people! The hot tub store owner skeeved me out a bit, too, though. I felt like he was checking me out, imagining all of the wild antics me and my quintuplet friends would be up to once we got the tub working. Which is so far from any truth. Honestly, I'm going to have to be dragged in. I don't find sitting around, staring at a fence, and getting wrinkly any fun whatsoever. There's nothing to do in there really. Have relaxing conversations with my boyfriend? But I can do that without getting my hair chlorinated. Foreplay? The hot tub is actually pretty visible from the second story of every single house surrounding us. So, it's sexiness factor is not so much. If you knew our neighborhood, you would know why. There are dudes that sit out on their porches all day even when there aren't half naked people frolicking in frothing water. These days, they only say 'Hi' to me as I walk by. I shiver to think of the other greetings they might start throwing my way. However, if anyone else finds having stringy hair, raisin skin, and nothing left in your friends' imaginations, by all means, come on by.
posted by Notyomomma
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