I want to update everyone on my life
but all I can do right now is burp. I've been food poisoned again! Again!! Ach hamburger fez.
This reminds me of the first time I was food poisoned by a well drink. It was back in the Big D. That time was much more vicious to my system, though. I was actually driving home when it hit me. I pulled over in a Best Buy parking lot and spewed my life history out of my mouth and nose. The worst part was there was not to be found one single piece of cloth, napkin, paper, anything in my car. So, I shook off most of what I could onto the cement and drove an endless trip back home, vomit dripping occasionally from my hair and hands. The next few days were spent cuddled on my bathroom floor.
This time, my tummy is mainly very, very uncomfortable. It won't let me ignore it's unhappiness, but it's unwilling to take any drastic measures to relieve itself. Aaaah, my tummy. It's either delicate or horribly misfigured. Jeesus, I've just noticed how much thought and space I'm devoting to this. I'll stop now.
In other news, I have a new refrigerator! It's wonderful. Oh yeah, and a friend from Dallas was in town this weekend. But back to the stainless steel work of art in my kitchen...I'm kidding! I jest! I'm jesting!! Woah, is me. I humbly apologize to my precious friend for consuming my time with broken down delivery drivers this weekend. I've disavowed Sears for life as a result of the misadventures they forced me to share with them. Except for their economical undergarments. I can't forsake those. G-darn their thriftiness! Anywho, I reveled in every minute of your presence we managed to squeeze in. I won't question why you did not want to travel to my humble abode and spend a few more quality hours. I also will not remark upon your delightful recollections from our formative years. But, I'm happy I got to see you, baby. Wait a second, do you even read my blog? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure you do.
This reminds me of the first time I was food poisoned by a well drink. It was back in the Big D. That time was much more vicious to my system, though. I was actually driving home when it hit me. I pulled over in a Best Buy parking lot and spewed my life history out of my mouth and nose. The worst part was there was not to be found one single piece of cloth, napkin, paper, anything in my car. So, I shook off most of what I could onto the cement and drove an endless trip back home, vomit dripping occasionally from my hair and hands. The next few days were spent cuddled on my bathroom floor.
This time, my tummy is mainly very, very uncomfortable. It won't let me ignore it's unhappiness, but it's unwilling to take any drastic measures to relieve itself. Aaaah, my tummy. It's either delicate or horribly misfigured. Jeesus, I've just noticed how much thought and space I'm devoting to this. I'll stop now.
In other news, I have a new refrigerator! It's wonderful. Oh yeah, and a friend from Dallas was in town this weekend. But back to the stainless steel work of art in my kitchen...I'm kidding! I jest! I'm jesting!! Woah, is me. I humbly apologize to my precious friend for consuming my time with broken down delivery drivers this weekend. I've disavowed Sears for life as a result of the misadventures they forced me to share with them. Except for their economical undergarments. I can't forsake those. G-darn their thriftiness! Anywho, I reveled in every minute of your presence we managed to squeeze in. I won't question why you did not want to travel to my humble abode and spend a few more quality hours. I also will not remark upon your delightful recollections from our formative years. But, I'm happy I got to see you, baby. Wait a second, do you even read my blog? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure you do.
posted by Notyomomma
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