Blog Rap

I'm in love with Lil Bow Wow and I can't help myself. It's so wrong. I made myself an extra 5 unnecessary minutes late this morning to watch his new video Let Me Hold You. Oh, Lil Bow Wow, er I mean, I see you're going by just Bow Wow now, I will let you hold me down like a good man's supposed to. How old are you now? 15? 18? At any rate, without a doubt, you're bigger than me. It's pretty much guaranteed, if you're over the age of 12, you're bigger than me. So, if I was a rapper, I should be Lil Cee Dee. Wait, that's bad. That sounds like seedy. I would NOT want to be referred to as Lil Seedy. That's like the worst rap name in the history of the world.

You know, I actually did used to be a rapper. Swear to god, hand on my heart. My adopted name was La Carmen. Sorta bringing it back to my latina roots, if you know what I mean. I was part of a rapper group, kind of like Salt n Pepa, except our names weren't as complimentary. Hers was Gizette. La Carmen and Gizette. She's a whitey and who am I kidding, I'm a whitey, too. So we were Northern State before there was Northern State. Except not as good. Thankfully, we didn't try to lay down any politically correct science. We took our cues from the usual bragging and hooking up stories ubiquitous in rap. We mostly wrote stuff about guys trying to get with us and us being too good for them. Because ain't that the truth! I'm bummed, but I can only remember one couplet from all of our raps:

Admist the confusion stand La Carmen and Gizette
And believe me baby, you ain't seen nothing yet

Oh yeah.